Finding Peace: A Catholic Guide to Dealing with Anxiety (my intro)

In that moment, fear clutched at my heart like icy fingers, threatening to suffocate me in its grip. As my father rushed into the fray, I felt a surge of panic, fearing for his safety, fearing for the lives trapped within the inferno.

I strained to catch every word, though I had been sent back to bed , dreading the truth that lurked in the shadows. And then, like a dagger to the heart, came the devastating revelation – the children, the babysitter, all lost in the engulfing blaze.

Despite the passage of time, the scars of that traumatic event remained etched in my soul, manifesting in a relentless cycle of panic and avoidance. Each day felt like a battle waged within, leaving me drained and depleted, a mere shell of the vibrant little girl I once was.

I still remember the school mornings when the thought of stepping foot outside my door filled me with dread – a fear so potent, so suffocating, that I would cling to the safety of home, refusing to venture into the unknown.

And when I did muster the courage to face the world, anxiety lurked at every corner, ready to pounce with the ferocity of a wounded beast. Panic attacks became my unwelcome companions, sending me fleeing to the sanctuary of the school nurse's office, desperate for refuge from the storm raging within.

Even as the years passed, the grip of anxiety only tightened... its tendrils wrapping themselves around every aspect of my life. Even the most joyous celebrations became a torment, as the simple act of eating brought waves of nausea and pain, reminders of the grief and anxiety that had taken root within me.

It was a journey marked by despair and desperation, a journey that led me to the doorstep of countless doctors, each one searching for answers to the enigma of my suffering and weight loss. And yet, it was the wisdom of a single healer that would illuminate the path forward, shining a light on the tangled web of fear and uncertainty that had ensnared me.

"She is very anxious," he declared, his words a revelation that echoed the truth of my existence. "She keeps putting the cart before the horse."

In that moment, clarity dawned like the breaking of a new day, illuminating the dark recesses of my mind with the light of understanding...even as a child..

Anxiety, it seemed, had become the lens through which I viewed the world, distorting reality with its twisted logic and irrational fears.

I stayed extremely thin until college when I became emaciated again. In the pursuit of higher education my anxiety kicked into high gear, again.